Pain in the Offering...

Every so often I find that the Lord is gracious enough to allow me to see Him at work in the life of one of my children. It usually comes at one of those times when I'm ashamed to say, I've been thinking in my head, "seriously Lord, I love these kids, but I sure don't like them right now..." or "Lord, is anything I'm trying to teach them about you sticking... AT ALL, because I sure don't see it...." I'd been going through a time like that recently. It seemed like whenever I asked "E" if he wanted to pray, he said, "no," if I asked him if he wanted to go to church, he said, "no," if I asked if he was going to obey mommy because it would make Jesus happy, you guessed it, he said, "no!" And things with "A" felt even worse... I taught her the verse, "Blessed are the Peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God," and when she would be fighting with "E" or a friend, I would remind her to be a peacemaker and she would tell me, "I don't want to!" And then the climax about a week ago when "A" had been having a particularly rough patch of talking back and just having a bad attitude, I got down on her level, and prepared myself to "speak the truth in love" to my daughter, and I explained that her behavior, plain and simple, was sin, and that our sin was what caused Jesus to have to die on the cross, etc... She paused and looked at me, meanwhile I'm imagining some great lightbulb going off in her head, and she responds, "MOM, your breath smells SO BAD!!" Great... just great, I'm really getting through to these kids. I even find myself momentarily asking, is it worth it? Why bother? However, I know that God's truth is more important than my emotions, so, I keep pushing on. And then, out of nowhere, God decides to give me the experience of this past week.

It began Sunday night. I was putting "A" to bed and I asked her what she had learned in Sunday School that day. It was kind of odd, because I just felt very led to ask her that, which I don't always do. I was half expecting her to say, "I don't know," or, "I don't remember," but she didn't. She told me they learned about a woman who didn't have much, but she gave all her money to God. Then she added that her teachers talked to her about how there was an earthquake in Haiti, and that there were people there that needed help and money. I told her that was true and we talked about how sad it was for the people in Haiti, and then I asked her if she wanted to give some of her money to the people in Haiti. She said yes, and I asked if she wanted to give the five dollar bill she had received as a Christmas present from my grandpa. Now for a little background, this five dollar bill is the only money aside from change in her piggy bank that my five year old currently possesses. She paused and said, "mommy, that money is really special, great-grandpa wanted me to have it." I told her it was true, it was special and that I would let her decide what she wanted to do. Fast forward to Tuesday evening. I am putting "A" to bed again and I see laying on her bedside table the aforementioned five dollar bill. I ask her what it is doing there, because I know that it is usually kept safely in her wallet, in her jewelry box. That's when "A" told me that she had decided that she wanted to give her five dollar bill to the people of Haiti. As a mother, my heart filled with love for this precious little girl. She was willing to take what she had heard and put it into practice. She did not give from her wealth, it would have been easy to give a few dimes and nickels from the piggy bank, but she gave all she had, her prized five dollar bill.

I feel that as adults we can learn a lot from the widow in the Bible story that gave her all to the Lord, and from my precious daughter who gave her five dollar bill to those devastated by the earthquake in Haiti. It made me think of the song, "Blessed be Your Name," by Matt Redmon. There is a section that goes: "Blessed be your name, On the road marked with suffering, When there's pain in the offering, Blessed be your name." Now, I need to let you know, so far 2010 has not gotten off to the financial start that I was planning for. In the first half of the first month of this new year we've incurred the following expenses: new car battery for our van, four new tires and alignment for our van, a new pump of some kind for our Jeep, a new dryer, and currently our van is making a new squealing sound that my husband is pretty sure is the water pump, it goes to the shop tomorrow. All in all about $1500-$2000 of bills we were not expecting. I have to be honest, this past week, I have said to myself, "I'd love to give some/more to Haiti, if only we didn't have all these unexpected expenses come up." But you know, God keeps bringing that line from that song back to my mind, over and over and over... Megan, now is one of those times when there is in fact some, "pain in the offering." What are you going to do? Do we stop tithing when the bills get tight? Do we pass on supporting that missionary or those in need because of that unexpected expense? It's hard stuff, but God is teaching me to trust Him. I don't know exactly what will happen yet, but I can feel God working on me in a big way, challenging me and waiting to see what I'll decide. I pray that I won't let Him down. And I thank Him for the blessing of allowing me to see His hand molding my little daughter even now.